


The messenger

by Mary_the_gardener



Series: Advent songfics challenge 2019 [16]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Experimental Style, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Quad sal is a snek, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21821908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_the_gardener/pseuds/Mary_the_gardener
Summary: I was really struggling to write today, because I've been trying to challenge myself a little and change style a bit, including more dialogues. But it ended so very badly I had to give up. From some thoughts I had while trying to get myself back together came this. I am not even sure of what it is, but I hope you enjoy itInspired to: The messenger - Linkin ParkEdit: Due to copyright restrictions, all thelyricsin the work have been replaced by anx.
Relationships: Jason Brown/Ice
Series: Advent songfics challenge 2019 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558414
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	The messenger

**Author's Note:**

> I was really struggling to write today, because I've been trying to challenge myself a little and change style a bit, including more dialogues. But it ended so very badly I had to give up. From some thoughts I had while trying to get myself back together came this. I am not even sure of what it is, but I hope you enjoy it
> 
> Inspired to: The messenger - Linkin Park
> 
> Edit: Due to copyright restrictions, all the [lyrics ](https://genius.com/Linkin-park-the-messenger-lyrics) in the work have been replaced by an **x**.

It feels like spiraling down. Like you're falling. And falling. Every day, every month. Always.

Endless.  
  


It feels like crashing down. Again and again. All the same motions, all the same pain. It takes your breath away.

  
  
Suffocating.

  
  
It feels like failing. Like you're the last one, the smallest child who's left behind every time.

  
  
Overlooked.

  
  
  
Because it _is_ falling, and crashing, and failing. Each time. And it's been years and you look around and they're all moving on and you're stuck there.

  
  
And sometimes, just sometimes, you feel like giving up.  
  


**x [2]**

_  
  
  
_But when you get up, when you're gliding, taking up speed again, it all comes back to you

  
  
Whispering

  
  
When you're alone, when you close your eyes for a second, it gently carries you

  
  
Flying

  
  
When you dance in the cold, when all is blurred around you, it's like being in the right spot

  
  
Centered

  
  
When you stroke simply, when you have control over the edges, it feels again like it used to

  
  
Right

**x [2]**   


_  
_ That's why, dusting solid water off your pants after the umpteenth shot at those four rotations, you still look up and smile.

  
**x**

Even if it keeps not working, despite all the years, and sweat and bruises _  
_  
Even if few degrees keep missing, despite changing town, and coach and technique  
  
Even if you still slam your body on the ice, despite changing jump  
  
Even if they world outside doesn't believe in you anymore - did it ever? - and you're just "that one guy without a quad", not even worthy of their consideration, their scorn tearing you apart

  
  
  
**x [2]**   


You keep going. You keep trying. You keep fighting

You give your all

And it gives you back, everything and more, joy and happiness and freedom.

You keep skating

With you heart and your love, never sad, always smiling. Because this is what you decided to live for, this is what you know you should do. This is where you belong.  
  


**x [2]**   
  


**x**


End file.
